Thursday, September 26, 2013

Muddy waters...

Muddy waters...

Picture this: You are swimming in a lake, enjoying the beautiful scenery, the soft gentle breeze. The sun feels warm and heavenly. The water is cleansing and relaxing. Your cup runneth over. However, the time comes when you need to get out and get back to work. As you near the edge of the lake, you start to tread in some muddy waters. The mud feels thick and squishy. It's trying to pull you down into its heaviness and darkness. You get stuck. It's cold and lonely and all you want to do is either get back in the lake or get out to do what you do best: serving others. But you cannot get out or can you?

Guess who was in muddy waters all last week and into this one? ME! Yep, got stuck!

It is very dangerous territory for me to get stuck. My ego mind starts saying silly stuff from the past and I get caught up in it. "See, you are back at square one...knew you couldn't do it. He's right. She's right. I can't (fill in the blank)"

We have two choices in how our days should unfold. Fill your bucket up and then go fill up other's buckets. How you fill your bucket up is up to you. Nature walks, long runs, yoga, meditating, prayer, playing with animals, hot showers, etc. are great bucket fillers. Also, by filling up other people's buckets, yours gets full too! Sometimes during the day, you step in muddy waters. The muddy waters may look like this: A dish gets broken. A boss gets on you about your tardiness. You receive some bad news. A person close to you has bad energy. You break your phone. You make a mistake. You start reliving a moment from the past.

Life can be difficult at times. There are moments that can take your breath away and leave you in a state of shock.

Muddy waters take on all kinds of appearances. But you CAN get out. You can pick yourself up and get back into the present moment.

1. Breathe. Keep breathing. Feel what you are feeling. Did you make a mistake? Give yourself a big fat hug and say its okay. What can you learn from that mistake? Are you reliving an argument you had last week? Are you worried about what others are thinking and saying about you? Feel what you are feeling. Breathe into that and let it go.

2. Identify the feeling. Is it shame, guilt, impatience, irritation, anger? Really feel where it lives in your body.

3. Now chose a better feeling thought. The Universe wants us to feel good all the time. Suffering is what we decide for ourselves. Let's say you had an argument with someone. Are you irritated? Let the irritation feeling come up...give yourself some space and now chose a better feeling thought. Can you be hopeful that the situation will work itself out? Can you send love to the situation and pray for healing? Can you see that its all working out for your favor? Resentment and anger keep you in the muddy waters. And the longer you keep your feet in the muddy water, the deeper you go.

This healing could happen over a course of a few days or in a few moments. But as you use these tools, it gets easier. You can tell when you start to get stuck in the muddy waters. And you can use these mindfulness tools to keep from going deeper. This is called emotional resilience. Hmmmm. that word resilience is beautiful. It's inspiring. Emotional resilience simply refers to one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able to “roll with the punches” and adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties, while less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes. You can improve upon this skill by working it often by using the tool above.

What does emotional resilience mean to you?

Love and Light ALWAYS,
Jensy

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Silence.

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”
― Woody Allen

Since becoming a mother, my head and my heart burst wide, wide open.

My mind was a cluttered chatterbox for almost thirty years, repeating negative mantras about my worth over and over again.

I just wanted to get outta my head. Argh. The mind chatter was so loud, I would try to stifle with it with overexercising, controlling what I ate, isolating from friends and family. Its called numbing. Oprah Winfrey and Brene Brown were chatting about numbing on Super Soul Sunday this past weekend. We all do some form of numbing - the TV, shopping, internet surfing, gambling. Some take it to extremes, others do not.

When I had my girls, I couldn't keep it together. I had this audio tape that was so loud screaming hateful things about myself that I couldn't think straight! I had one baby crying for more bottle and the other pulling everything out of drawers...all the while my head(ego) was saying "you are a horrible mother, you are a failure,etc. etc."

Silence.

Silence saved me.

Silence saved my family.

Silence is my teacher and I'm its faithful student.

Silence happens in the bathroom with the door shut. Silence happens in my guest room where no one can find me. Silence happens on a late night drive to Target. Silence happens in nature. Silence happens on a mountaintop. Silence happens inside of me. Breathe in energy, exhale stress.

My daughters taught me about silence. They taught me that I need to get quiet and still so I can be a better mommy. I thought I needed to go, go, go. No time for me. Well that worked out pretty shitty. The Universe gifted me these little earth angels to save me. To save me from myself. To teach me to fight. To teach me to value me. To teach me how to love wholeheartedly. I marvel in their teachings everyday.

I discovered through silence that I am a highly sensitive soul. Sensitive takes on a meaning to me that is positive not negative. I used to believe it was negative as I took things personally. Yea, I am still working on that one but logically I know that its the other person's projections and not my own. My nervous system is so sensitive I can actually feel another persons energy. For so long, I would match that person's energy, whether it was anxious, happy, scared, excited, sad, angry, etc.

Kids can experience all of those emotions in a span of one minute! Whoa, roller coaster city over here.

Silence taught me to separate myself from what is going on around me and to go within. Stay connected to my breath and know that only love is real. Respond rather than react. Stay. right. in. this. moment.

Silence makes me more self aware. Silence removes the fears and blocks I have about purpose.

Silence saved my life.

Silence healed my soul.

I'm wondering, has silence saved you too? Do you value silence, do you have a practice of stillness? What centers you back in the moment?


Love and Light Always,

Jensy

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

We all want to feel safe and loved!

The reason why we are here is to give and receive love.

Our relationships are what give meaning to our lives.

The greatest love of all is your relationship to your Self, how you talk to Self, and how you nurture Self. And how we do that is by tuning in to our Self/Spirit by being reflective.

Meditation has been the buzz word as of late. I get that it can be difficult to start and in fact, mediation may not be the right fit for you.

Being reflective and listening to your Soul's needs can take on many different appearances. Some people need a long run, a soothing bath, a hike in the woods, journalling, ride on a boat, or playing their favorite musical instrument. Sitting in lotus position and hearing your thoughts might not be for you. Find what works so you can build a strong relationship with Self.

Once you feel like you have a strong relationship with yourSelf, then relationships can flourish. You will seek out relationships that compliment what you need. You many find that you are in relationships that no longer serve what you need because you are becoming more self aware through your reflective practices.

This is where speaking up and honoring your Soul's needs come into play.

Let's say you are struggling with one of your relationships. You have the conversation that your needs are not being met. You write down all the things you need to feel safe and loved. You express your needs. You feel vulnerable and let all your feelings out in the open. This gives the other person a way to see it from your perspective and can correct some of their behaviors to get the relationship back in its flow. This doesn't mean the other person needs to change who they are. But to continue a fulfilling relationship there needs to be a give and take.



One of two things can happen, the other person can see that you are hurt and longing for more from the relationship. They work on getting your needs met to continue the relationship. Or you keep expressing your needs and you are neither "seen" or "heard", it may be time to build courage to get your needs met in another relationship elsewhere.

To quote on my favorite spiritual mentors, Mastin Kipp,

"It’s the mark of a Master to share his or her feelings, rather than blaming someone else for not meeting the needs that were never expressed in the first place. It’s the mark of a Master who is strong enough to walk away from a broken and unfulfilled kind of love if his or her needs and emotions aren’t being seen. It’s the mark of a Master to be able to also meet the needs of their partner."

Are you being vulnerable and expressing what you want from your relationship?

So, today, try letting your loved ones know how you feel. What comes out of the conversation will be a true test as to where your relationship is heading.

The truth shall set you free. Are you feeling safe and loved?


Love and Light ALWAYS,
Jensy